russian grandpa

My father made the most of his time with Elijah. He wanted to push the stroller each time we went on a walk. He wanted to feed Elijah each time he needed to eat. He got up each morning, went to the store and then cooked so that the food was ready by the time his grandson came over. He followed Elijah everywhere to make sure he didn't stick his fingers into electric plugs or pinched them in the doors. He taught him to turn off the lights. And he loved each and every minute of our visits. Perhaps none of it sounds that impressive unless you know that my father can no longer walk very well without a cane, can't lift anything heavy, does not work, and does not cook on a regular basis. Having Elijah over even for part of the day wore my dad out so much that he (a miracle!) slept all night long while we were there.

My father chose to go by Deda, a shortened version of a more traditional dedushka, although Elijah doesn't talk yet and thus it didn't really matter. But you don't have to talk to be able to have a relationship.



The real purpose of this trip was for my father to meet Elijah. My mother came to visit us last year and she can come again any time. But my father can't handle a trip over the ocean because of his health, and thus the only way for him to see his grandson was for us to come to Russia. Interacting with a small child brought true joy to my dad. I could see it in his face. He even told my mother one evening after we left that he wasn't sure he could handle all these "positive emotions." It was a blessing to see grace poured out unto my father through a little child. Elijah didn't care about grandpa's mistakes or issues. He loved grandpa the way grandpa was, without reservation, without a second thought, the way only a child can. He broke the darkness of a broken man with the light of his blue eyes and his irresistible smile. He brought laughter and life to a man consumed by addiction, even if only for six short days. That is what I was hoping for and that is why we went, so my dad could receive grace from God through a little boy. And grandpa responded. No, he did not change. He was the same man carrying all his baggage. But his best qualities shone through. His care and love for Elijah was evident. He turned out to be a better grandpa than I ever hoped.